Thursday, May 2, 2013

Morning by Morning

It is so easy.  This morning, to sit here outside and feel the peace.  Taste how easily I could forgive everyone and live with a lighter heart.  The spring air is fresh with a breeze that runs over the white dogwood blossoms.  And I am here writing in my journal, reading Isaiah.

I love Isaiah.  There are books in the Bible that I turn to easily.  Hungry to hear and feel God's love.  Isaiah is one of those.  It is as if God knew all the fears and worries my heart would have and put the answers of Love in that book.  

This morning I read from chapter 50 and read that morning by morning the Lord awakens His servant to instruct him.  Today I feel that I could be instructed.  The slowness of the morning.  There is no hurry-hurry-hurry I usually feel.  I close my eyes and feel the blessings of the day unfurling.  The ease of the day.

But I want this peace of this morning to be with me on all the days.  Because it is the hurry-hurry-hurry days that I need it the most.  The days I cannot find the kind words I know I should say or the forgiveness I know I should feel.

I want to be awakened by the Lord to be instructed morning by morning.  Every morning.  Not just the easy mornings.  My heart is hungry for that, and I know that I must change something, but what.

 Today this is easy to imagine--forgiveness given, peace every morning.

So I will recount blessings kept and recorded.  Trying to remember and hope for each morning by morning.

208-Wind & sun on my face at recess
224- Time to say good-bye.  Time for emails.
238- Tears for Caitlin
239- Arrow head from Dominic
243- Love
251- Luke 23:47 The soldier praised God by naming a gift
258- My relationship with Daddy
259- Friends to grieve with
280 - John 1:16 "From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another."
284- Twenty eight healthy students listing to Matthew talk about searching in God's word.
291- Insurance check for the roof
295- Joy
311- Bible verses painted on the walls
312- M&Ms in an alien bag.
316- Difficult people (appreciate the good ones)
321- Tears & comfort
330- Morning walk--my heart was stilled
339- Kindness from Tamorah
344- New playground
355- Perennial flowers
361- Kisses from Matthew

And I need to remember to slow down.  Breathe deep.  And count blessings. Because it does make the heart less heavy.  As if in naming the blessings the heavy parts of my heart begin to disappear.