Not Torn

Tonight Matthew read to me from John 21: 1-14. The account is below so you can read it.

As we discussed the passage Matthew said that he thought it was significant that it mentioned that the net was not torn.  I told him that maybe it showed that if Jesus sent the fish, he would supply the strength of the net.

And it dawned on me and made me smile.  It made me think of how I felt today.  Overwhelmed.  Can I really add another two desks in here? Can I really be a teacher without all the planning I usually do?  Is it possible to spiritually lead these students? Can I really add another desk in here?  As I answered Matthew’s thought about the net I felt the Spirit speaking to me.  If You spply the students, then You will give me the strength.  No matter how many or how few.  Even if I feel that I, the net, will break—you will give me the strength because You have sent these children to Your school.

That is so comforting.  He will give me His strength.  He will give me His peace.  Beautiful.  And perfect timing.  I am always amazed by God’s love and patience with me. 

He has supplied the bountiful blessings of students.  He will not let me be torn.

 

___

John 21
Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Galilee.[a] It happened this way:2 Simon Peter, Thomas (also known as Didymus[b]), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. 3 “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.

4 Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.

5 He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”

“No,” they answered.

6 He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

7 Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. 8 The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards.[c] 9 When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.

10 Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” 11 So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. 12 Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. 13 Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. 14 This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead.

Adventure

"When one is at home, he dreams of adventure; and when one is on an adventure, he dreams of home." -Thornton Wilder

I've decided to dust off this old keyboard and share some thoughts.

I'm in a Motel 6 adjacent to Yellowstone National Park. It's an adventure to be studying the volcanic center of this park - it's a caldron, not the typical cone-shaped volcano we all think of. But while it's an adventure, I miss home. I'm missing the people that make home home. Without those people this adventure is kind of lonely!

Being here without anyone I know is good for me. I'm being stretched to get to know new people, spend time with people I never typically associate with because of my career and home environment, and study things from a perspective I disagree with (this is causing me to closely analyze everything said in the academic setting). But being here without anyone I know is reminding me that life is made more valuable by the people we love.

I'm already starting to think of Joseph and how his story plays into this. He was taken from his family, and was made to live as a slave for many years. I believe his only comfort came from God during his darkest times in Egypt.

This time of adventure does not shine as brightly now as it did from the distant comfort of home, but nonetheless, God shines more.

So may you value the ones you love, and find home in God.

Morning by Morning

It is so easy.  This morning, to sit here outside and feel the peace.  Taste how easily I could forgive everyone and live with a lighter heart.  The spring air is fresh with a breeze that runs over the white dogwood blossoms.  And I am here writing in my journal, reading Isaiah.

I love Isaiah.  There are books in the Bible that I turn to easily.  Hungry to hear and feel God's love.  Isaiah is one of those.  It is as if God knew all the fears and worries my heart would have and put the answers of Love in that book.  

This morning I read from chapter 50 and read that morning by morning the Lord awakens His servant to instruct him.  Today I feel that I could be instructed.  The slowness of the morning.  There is no hurry-hurry-hurry I usually feel.  I close my eyes and feel the blessings of the day unfurling.  The ease of the day.

But I want this peace of this morning to be with me on all the days.  Because it is the hurry-hurry-hurry days that I need it the most.  The days I cannot find the kind words I know I should say or the forgiveness I know I should feel.

I want to be awakened by the Lord to be instructed morning by morning.  Every morning.  Not just the easy mornings.  My heart is hungry for that, and I know that I must change something, but what.

 Today this is easy to imagine--forgiveness given, peace every morning.

So I will recount blessings kept and recorded.  Trying to remember and hope for each morning by morning.

208-Wind & sun on my face at recess
224- Time to say good-bye.  Time for emails.
238- Tears for Caitlin
239- Arrow head from Dominic
243- Love
251- Luke 23:47 The soldier praised God by naming a gift
258- My relationship with Daddy
259- Friends to grieve with
280 - John 1:16 "From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another."
284- Twenty eight healthy students listing to Matthew talk about searching in God's word.
291- Insurance check for the roof
295- Joy
311- Bible verses painted on the walls
312- M&Ms in an alien bag.
316- Difficult people (appreciate the good ones)
321- Tears & comfort
330- Morning walk--my heart was stilled
339- Kindness from Tamorah
344- New playground
355- Perennial flowers
361- Kisses from Matthew

And I need to remember to slow down.  Breathe deep.  And count blessings. Because it does make the heart less heavy.  As if in naming the blessings the heavy parts of my heart begin to disappear.

It's in the small things

God is in the details.  The small, almost hidden details.

And that is where I find His tenderness the most dear.

Today my heart grieved as I lost my friend Caitlin to a battle with cancer.  And it broke again because I knew I would have to tell my nine students that she died.  My sweet students who have been praying for Caitlin since day one.  The students who raise their hands in church and ask for prayer for Caitlin.  My students who I had to grieve with last April over the loss of their classmate, Marissa.  And I had to tell them that Caitlin was gone.

And as I sat during nap time, rubbing the back of a crying child I prayed and asked, What can I do?  What can I do to help them?  To help them see You in this.  To see the joy.

Then I thought of the Celebration Cake.  I follow a blog by author Katie Ganshert.  And she is having a Pinterest contest/war with another author Becky Wade.  Their contest this week was making a Celebration Cake.

We could make a celebration cake.  Today.  Now.  In the sadness.   To celebrate that Jesus died so that we could have eternal life.  To celebrate that Caitlin rests in Jesus. To celebrate that we will see her again at Christ's return.  To celebrate her life.  To celebrate Jesus.  To celebrate the joy in the sadness.

So we did.  Box cake.  Container of frosting.

  Sprinkles

















Popsicle sticks with pom-poms.
















We celebrated with tears and laughter.

Here is what amazes me.  Here is God in the details.

The Celebration Cake contest was this week.  This week.
Matthew had to run home in the middle of the day (today) to meet an house insurance person, so he was able to grab the cake supplies for me.
I had cake supplies because of an event I am planning.
I have been trying to focus more on joy because of the Joy Dare and 1000 Gifts and in this when I was trying to focus on it I thought of the Celebration Cake.

Small, insignificant cluster of blogs, cake supplies, Bible study reading 1000 Gifts, and an insurance visit.  But I feel that they were designed by God, to bring comfort to my students and I in this sadness.

I know there will be more things.  More God moments.  I await to see His face in all things.  Because God is here.


1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.  For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.  For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.  After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.  Therefore encourage one another with these words.

Handouts?

You've seen them standing on the side of a road.  The cardboard sign.   "Out of work.  Need help.  God bless."  Or some variation.



And I always feel a tug.  When I was in high school I read a book by Melody Carlson about a girl, Chloe who wants to help the people she encounters asking for money or help without giving money.

See, it's always a question...what are the people going to do with the money?  I'm sure there are many arguments entangled with that question, but I think it's kind of a valid question.  But then it brings up another question.  What do you do then, when you are driving through somewhere and you see someone by a stoplight, asking for help?

In the book Chloe goes and buys McDonald's books that have the $1 gift certificate tear-outs.  So instead of handing out a couple dollars, she hands them a couple of $1 gift certificates and feels that she has given them help to get food, without giving cash.



Personally, I thought it was perfect.  So Matthew and I did that.  We bought some books and kept them in our cars to pass out.  And we did!  It seemed a perfect little solution...until McDonald's decided to stop selling those.  (I don't know if all of them have, but ours did.)

So for a while now we've had nothing in our cars. And we don't carry cash.  So there was nothing to give.

Then...there was Pinterest.

One day I was scanning along at ideas when I was stopped by this one.


And so a new idea has been born.  Today we bought the supplies. We didn't do it exactly like what was shown, but...it was a great start.  I loved the three basics.  Feed their needs, provide warmth, and feed their souls.














We now each have four gallon ziplock bags in our cars.  Something for physical needs (toothbrush, soap, snacks) and something for their spiritual needs (Steps to Christ.)  We didn't include winter stuff because winter is headed out of here, but when it gets that time we'll be picking some up to add.



I was laying out the supplies today and sorting them into bags and Matthew said, "Where did you get this idea again?"  I smiled, "Pinterest."  We laughed because he often asks me that when I'm trying something new and that is often the answer.  But here's to say that Pinterest has good things and I hope that in sharing this you are inspired to find your own way to help those in need.

Matthew 25

³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’