Dear Little Baby, I want to tell you about your Daddy

Tonight Matthew left for board meeting and I wanted to do something around the house to thank him for all he has done since I've been severely nauseated (almost five weeks now).  But of course I feel to sick to be of use almost anywhere in the house.  So I pulled out our baby journal and wrote this to our baby.  And I wanted to share it, because I have a selfless husband who is tirelessly working for me, for the school, and for the church -- and not complaining one bit.  I am blessed beyond words.

___

Hello little baby,

You are about 10 weeks old now.  One inch long.  I hope you are enjoying growing.  I have been very nauseated.  I tell you this because I want to tell you about the amazing Daddy that God has given you--and the amazing husband I have.

Ever since I have been nauseated your Daddy has done everything.  He cooks, cleans, pack lunches, always asks if he can do anything to help me feel better, takes care of the dogs, and cat.  And that is all on top of what he always has done to help me.  He mows our neighbors yard, take care of the cars, the yard, and helps around the house as he always has.  AND if that weren't enough he helps me at school.  He takes the students for recess, sorts my desk, handles stressful situations, and still does all of his own teacher and principal duties.  Your Daddy is selfless and serving.  He is also taking an online class toward his master's degree, is an elder at church, and takes time to rub my back at night when I know he must be exhausted.  And I have never heard him complain or ask me to do more.  He is a servant-lover after Jesus' heart.  I am eternally blessed to be his wife and beyond words thankful that he is your Daddy.

If you are a boy, I want you to be just like your Daddy.  If you are a girl I pray you will marry someone just like your Daddy.

We are incredibly blessed.

All my love,
Mama

Bump Ahead

Friday, August 9 at about 6:00 am I blinked my eyes as I watched the second pink line appear.  It was as if my heart raced and stopped beating all at the same time.  A baby.  Our baby.  There was a tiny life beginning inside of me.  Even now as I try to comprehend it I feel amazed and speechless.

We are thrilled beyond words and so glad that God has led us on this journey.  Last summer God began speaking to our hearts about expanding our family and He has blessed us to begin this way. 

It was the same day we paid off our house so I told Matthew that I wanted to take a picture with him, and instead had it on video so I could record his reaction. 

We can’t wait to meet our child at the end of April.  We thank God for the miracle that the baby already is to us. We ask for your prayers as we begin this new journey in our life!

“Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt His Name together.” Psalm 34:3

“For Thou, O LORD, hast made me glad by what Thou hast done, I will sing for joy at the works of Thy hands.” Psalm 92:4

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you…” Jeremiah 1:5 

Not Torn

Tonight Matthew read to me from John 21: 1-14. The account is below so you can read it.

As we discussed the passage Matthew said that he thought it was significant that it mentioned that the net was not torn.  I told him that maybe it showed that if Jesus sent the fish, he would supply the strength of the net.

And it dawned on me and made me smile.  It made me think of how I felt today.  Overwhelmed.  Can I really add another two desks in here? Can I really be a teacher without all the planning I usually do?  Is it possible to spiritually lead these students? Can I really add another desk in here?  As I answered Matthew’s thought about the net I felt the Spirit speaking to me.  If You spply the students, then You will give me the strength.  No matter how many or how few.  Even if I feel that I, the net, will break—you will give me the strength because You have sent these children to Your school.

That is so comforting.  He will give me His strength.  He will give me His peace.  Beautiful.  And perfect timing.  I am always amazed by God’s love and patience with me. 

He has supplied the bountiful blessings of students.  He will not let me be torn.

 

___

John 21
Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Galilee.[a] It happened this way:2 Simon Peter, Thomas (also known as Didymus[b]), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. 3 “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.

4 Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.

5 He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”

“No,” they answered.

6 He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

7 Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. 8 The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards.[c] 9 When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.

10 Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” 11 So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. 12 Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. 13 Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. 14 This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead.

Adventure

"When one is at home, he dreams of adventure; and when one is on an adventure, he dreams of home." -Thornton Wilder

I've decided to dust off this old keyboard and share some thoughts.

I'm in a Motel 6 adjacent to Yellowstone National Park. It's an adventure to be studying the volcanic center of this park - it's a caldron, not the typical cone-shaped volcano we all think of. But while it's an adventure, I miss home. I'm missing the people that make home home. Without those people this adventure is kind of lonely!

Being here without anyone I know is good for me. I'm being stretched to get to know new people, spend time with people I never typically associate with because of my career and home environment, and study things from a perspective I disagree with (this is causing me to closely analyze everything said in the academic setting). But being here without anyone I know is reminding me that life is made more valuable by the people we love.

I'm already starting to think of Joseph and how his story plays into this. He was taken from his family, and was made to live as a slave for many years. I believe his only comfort came from God during his darkest times in Egypt.

This time of adventure does not shine as brightly now as it did from the distant comfort of home, but nonetheless, God shines more.

So may you value the ones you love, and find home in God.

Morning by Morning

It is so easy.  This morning, to sit here outside and feel the peace.  Taste how easily I could forgive everyone and live with a lighter heart.  The spring air is fresh with a breeze that runs over the white dogwood blossoms.  And I am here writing in my journal, reading Isaiah.

I love Isaiah.  There are books in the Bible that I turn to easily.  Hungry to hear and feel God's love.  Isaiah is one of those.  It is as if God knew all the fears and worries my heart would have and put the answers of Love in that book.  

This morning I read from chapter 50 and read that morning by morning the Lord awakens His servant to instruct him.  Today I feel that I could be instructed.  The slowness of the morning.  There is no hurry-hurry-hurry I usually feel.  I close my eyes and feel the blessings of the day unfurling.  The ease of the day.

But I want this peace of this morning to be with me on all the days.  Because it is the hurry-hurry-hurry days that I need it the most.  The days I cannot find the kind words I know I should say or the forgiveness I know I should feel.

I want to be awakened by the Lord to be instructed morning by morning.  Every morning.  Not just the easy mornings.  My heart is hungry for that, and I know that I must change something, but what.

 Today this is easy to imagine--forgiveness given, peace every morning.

So I will recount blessings kept and recorded.  Trying to remember and hope for each morning by morning.

208-Wind & sun on my face at recess
224- Time to say good-bye.  Time for emails.
238- Tears for Caitlin
239- Arrow head from Dominic
243- Love
251- Luke 23:47 The soldier praised God by naming a gift
258- My relationship with Daddy
259- Friends to grieve with
280 - John 1:16 "From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another."
284- Twenty eight healthy students listing to Matthew talk about searching in God's word.
291- Insurance check for the roof
295- Joy
311- Bible verses painted on the walls
312- M&Ms in an alien bag.
316- Difficult people (appreciate the good ones)
321- Tears & comfort
330- Morning walk--my heart was stilled
339- Kindness from Tamorah
344- New playground
355- Perennial flowers
361- Kisses from Matthew

And I need to remember to slow down.  Breathe deep.  And count blessings. Because it does make the heart less heavy.  As if in naming the blessings the heavy parts of my heart begin to disappear.